JOKES

Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battlefield with G. I. Joes versus the X-Men.

Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restroom.

Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."

Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like, "Pick me! Pick me!!"

If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

Get cans of cat food and randomly put them in people's carts when they don't realise it.

Make a trail of orange juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in house wares," and see what happens.

Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

Put M&Ms on layaway.

Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

Joke: $1,000 Bill

JOKE: Horse Back Cop